<bGSOUND SRC="http://tiaannmemorial.tripod.com/thedance.wav" LOOP=INFINITE>
Make your own free website on Tripod.com

It was the day after Christmas 2002. I hadn't started my period so I knew that I was pregnant, but I got a home pregnancy test anyways. Well it showed positive. Being that I was 20 at the time, in college, and already had one child I was very shocked to see that I was pregnant. At first I was like how can I be pregnant, Iím not ready for another child. But I believe in God and that he gave me that child for a reason. I donít believe in abortion or adoption so I knew I was in for the long haul. After a week or two I started warming up to the idea that I was going to have another little one in my life. I started getting excited.

January 15, 2003 was my first doctorís visit. I was exactly 8 weeks along by u/s. I got to see my baby and hear her heartbeat. At that moment I knew that I had another one of the greatest loves in my life. From that moment on I was waiting on my baby to get here. I knew by the time I got to about 6 or 7 months that I would go on bed rest because I would get preeclampsia. I had it with my first little girl, so my doctor expected me to have it with this one. My next ultrasound was at 17wks 3days. We looked to see if we could see the gender and when my doctor told me she thought it was another little girl my heart leaped for joy.(not that I have anything against having a little boy because I would have gladly taken either one, but I wanted another girl.) My next u/s was at 21 weeks when we confirmed it was a little girl. Oh I was so excited. God blessed me with one of his own to love and care for. I felt so blessed. And I wanted this baby so bad.

I was about 22 weeks when I went on bed rest for the first time because I had a UTI. Then two or three weeks later I went on it again (the first two times I went on bed rest for only a week) Then at 27 weeks I went to the doctors office on May 23rd, 2003 because I had been seeing spots before my eyes. they checked my bp it was 144/90. I was sent straight to the hospital for an overnight stay and a 24-hour urine test. The next day my results came back and my protein was .4 or 400 which is borderline preeclamptic. they released me from the hospital that day. I stayed at home all day that Saturday and half the day on Sunday with a headache and spots in my eyes. So I went back to the Hospital at 5:30 Sunday, May 25th. My doctor was not on call that weekend. The doctor that was ordered another 24-hour urine test. We got it back around 6:30 that Monday. My doctor had gotten back by then. She came in and told my protein had went up to .5 or 500. That I should expect to be in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy. (I had a placental abruption with my first pregnancy, but my little girl survived that one. I was in active labor when it happened and we got her out.) So I was at risk for another one. I stayed in the hospital until wed. May 28th. I was released. I went back on Friday May 30th and they sent me home that night.

Well come June 3,2003 Tues. I had a doctorís appt. because I had started going 2 times a week. They were going to check the fluid around the baby. Well they did and my fluid was low it was only 6cm so I had to leave the doctors office and go straight to the hospital, were I would be transported to Mobile USA Women and Childrenís Hospital by ambulance. I got to USA and I was having contractions but there werenít regular so it was no big deal. They check my fluid there and said that it was regular (9cm). So when my contractions stopped they put me on High-risk ob floor. I was expecting to be in the hospital for the rest of my pregnancy because of all the stuff that was happening. I had preeclampsia, having contractions, had a UTI, and a bladder infection on top of that, along with many other aches and pains. I stayed on High-risk ob the next day and stayed the night then I was released on June 5, 2003. I started hurting that morning but I just though that it was just another pain so I ignored it. I didnít tell the nurse(oh if I only knew then what I know now, I feel so guilty for this part here). I just got my stuff ready and when my mom got there to get me I went home.

On the way home I started hurting worse and then it got even worse. By the time I got to my exit on the interstate I was in so much pain I didnít know if I could make it. I thought I was having contractions. I went straight back to my hometown hospital. I told them what was going on and they gave me a Lora tab and the shot to help stop having contractions. They put me on the monitors and it showed that I wasnít having contractions and my babyís heartbeat was fine. It was a 126 beats. My stomach was very tender I hurt so bad in my lower stomach and in my back. Well I got sent home. (If I would have only known that that was the last time I would hear my babyís heartbeat I would have listened more closely.

I went home and got in the bed. I hurt so bad I couldnít lay down. As soon as I could take more medicine for the pain, I did. I slept most of the day. I got up for supper, we ate spaghetti. Then I went back to bed. I slept late That Friday morning on June 6, 2003. I got up at 11:00 when my bf came home for lunch. I remember telling him that I was worried because she hadnít moved all day. He told me not to worry. And I also thought she might have been knocked out from the medicine I was taking for pain. I was taking Tylenol with codeine. But then at 12:15 after my bf left to go back to work I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I say a small amount of blood. I knew right then that I would never see my baby alive. It is so weird that I knew somehow but I wish I never would have had to go through this I donít wish this on anyone.

I called my bf he only works a min from our apartment. He came straight and got me and took me to the hospital. When I got there I had to change into a gown and then they were putting the monitors on me. They couldnít find her heartbeat so they called 'Stat' on ultrasound. They technician got there with the ultrasound and she looked. She wouldnít let me see the screen. I am studying to be a doctor so I knew what was going on but they still would not give me an answer. The nurses just kept saying the doctor is own his way, my doctor wasnít own call but she had told all the nurses who worked there if anything happened to me call her no matter day or night if she was on call or not. I finally just told my nurse (she had been my nurse over the two weeks I had been in and out of the hospital.) to tell me. I new she was gone but I wanted to hear it. Brooke my nurse new that I knew but she wasnít supposed to tell me. The doctor came in and said, ďI am going to look at the u/s again and see what I can see.ĒI told him
to turn it so I could see. So they did.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't because when I saw her heart and it wasnít beating I knew for sure that I would never have my baby girl. A heart that I had seen and heard beating just the day before. My doctor finally showed up. She was at home with her kids when she got the call. She came in my room crying more than I was. She is one of those doctors who really care and have time for you. She sat at my side the whole night until I delivered. We found out why I lost Tia when we got my blood count back. I had lost over half of my blood into my uterus from a complete placenta abruption. It was concealed. That is why no one knew what was going on. If it would have been 4 - 6 hours later before they caught it I would have been dead. I had to have 3 units of blood. And that barely got me out of harms way. At first the plan of the first doctor (the one that told me she was gone) was to induce me the following morning. If he would have left me lying in that bed that long I would be dead. But my doctor came in and figured out what was going on so they started the pitocin almost immediately. I could not have an epidural because they were afraid I would bleed into my back. I was on morphine and Demerol though. I donít remember much of that night because I so drugged up but I remember it being time to push and I didnít want to because I knew that when she was out I would really have to let her go. As long as she was inside no one could take her from me. Tia Ann was born sleeping on June 6, 2003 at 9:45 pm. She weighed 2 pounds and 7 ounces and was 14 ĺ inches long.
I lost Tia at 29 weeks.

She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. We laid Tia to rest on June 10, 2003 at 2:00 pm. It was a graveside ceremony. It was just a little gathering of our friends and family. Her casket was so beautiful. Tia is the first to lie in our family plot and one day I will lay next to my beautiful angel and join her in heaven. ďDear Tia, What is a lifetime to wait because when I get to
heaven I get to spend eternity with you.Ē

Meet Our Angel

Home  |  Poems  |  Pictures  | Guestbook 

Made With Love by
© 2003 ~AngelDesigns~